


What's Cracking, Kraken?

by EmeraldEyes8917



Category: Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Also that music video being very epic, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Release the Kraken, Romance, Tumblr Prompt, When the sight of Brian Wecht dressed as a Kraken, actually inspires someone to write such a scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-22 18:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21081170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldEyes8917/pseuds/EmeraldEyes8917
Summary: Imagine coming home to find that your talented, swashbuckling Jewish superhero boyfriend and his strong, silent ninja bandmate with an infinity number of kills to his name have brought home a large sea-beast after an epic battle for the realm.Inspired very much by 'Release the Kraken' and Brian Wecht's live acting of the Kraken himself at the live show in Vicar Street, Dublin.  Such a treat.  <3





	What's Cracking, Kraken?

Who says there is no such thing as epic beasts?

She certainly found out on that fateful day, when she arrived home from work, expecting to find an empty house, but instead, as soon as she had ventured into the kitchen and was about to pour a glass of wine, when her eyes drift towards the glass sliding door, her jaw literally drops open at what was just outside.

She takes three steps to the door, opens it and steps out into the yard, standing with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot much like a disappointed housewife, she takes in the scene before her with a measure of bemusement with a little frisson of annoyance bubbling just below her irritated demeanour.

In the backyard of the house, to her abject horror, a large glass and metal sided tank filled with water was taking up the entire grass space and towering over the fences either side, in which was swimming a large creature with glowing amber eyes and a great number of tentacles that swirled around its massive form.

There was never a dull moment in the comedy and fantasy fuelled world of Ninja Sex Party, but rather than being enamoured of the talent and superlative awesomeness that was their penchant every single day, she calls out the full name of her partner who happened to be standing right in front of the tank, tapping on the glass with his knuckles in a slow rhythm, "Daniel Y. Sexbang!"

The aforementioned Jewish superhero with a penchant for outrageous fashion and self-professed love-maker extraordinaire, whips around, his hair flying out in a curly halo and after mouthing a distinctive curse word, immediately turns on the charm, tossing his hair back and appearing quite debonair, "Well, hello there, beautiful. Yes, we are back"

Ninja Brain appears from behind the tank with a fifty meter hose in hand, water leaking from the nozzle, a large scabbard tucked in his belt, and he appears to be slightly alarmed at her appearing so suddenly. 

Both men are dressed as if they are re-enacting the Pirates of Penzance, but she barely has time to admire the fantastic costumes, so annoyed is she by this tank that had materialised seemingly from out of nowhere and scuppered her plans for a quiet evening.

"What on Earth is going on?"

Danny looks between her, Brian and the tank, "I can explain..."

Pointing an accusatory finger at the tank and its unusual occupant swimming around in circles, “What did I tell you about bringing weird animals home?”

Danny plays it casual, "I... I can't recall?"

Ninja Brian shakes his head, opting to slide out of the range of her wrath for now.

"That it was a bad idea and we don't have the space for anything larger than a Volkswagen Beetle."

Danny spreads his hands and gives her a casual shrug, "It's just until the war effort is cleaned up and we are able to return him to his sea-cave. It was a challenging battle full of action and excitement that you'll hear about in a rocking ballad very soon."

She narrows her eyes, squares her shoulders and strides up towards him. The ground does not shake, though her presence can be felt, and even Ninja Brian's eyes widen in an 'Oh, crap' expression.

Stopping right in front of him, she looks him right in the eye and though their height difference is noticeable, he backs up against the tank, and as his body makes contact with the thick glass, the dark shape surges in a large figure of eight.

"Now, baby doll..."

Her eyes flash, knowing exactly the method he was trying to employ in order to make her forget that she was annoyed at him, "Don't you play that card with me. Just tell me how long is our guest going to stay with us?"

He takes a long pause before saying in a tiny, almost imperceptible voice, "Just two weeks..."

"Two weeks?! You are not serious, Danny!!"

Her shriek of incredulity that almost lifts her off the ground is heard as far as the famed Attitude City, where several members of the Cool Patrol pricked up their ears before going back to shooting dice in the alleyway behind the University of Keeping It Real.

Danny winces, though still puts on the most self effacing air to smooth this over, "It will sail by, I promise."

Her eyebrow twitches, "Was that a deliberate pun?" "Maybe?" He flashes her his most handsome smile and already she can feel herself beginning to relent. But she had to be strong: if there was to be a sea-creature living in their back garden for a fortnight, she was going to get at least something small out of it.

She tilts her head, deciding to play her own little game, "Sweeten the pot and I may just consider it, and considering just how major this entire thing is, it had better be very, very good."

Just so she did not sound like a terrifying tyrant, she lifts her hand and strokes her fingers along his jaw where there is a great deal of stubble growing that even now makes a tingle of lust curl in her belly.

Danny nods several times, tilting his head more into her hand like a cat while thinking quite quickly as well as glancing over her shoulder at the hand-drawn placards Ninja Brian was holding up, including a pair of stick figures running into the sunset, an ice-cream cone and a rose, followed by another depicting a ninja stick figure holding a knife.

The third drawing was certainly not so helpful, with Ninja Brian having written in cursive script, 'I got bored. Shut up'.

Glancing back at his girl who was still looking up at him and stroking along his jaw, he makes a suggestion, "How about I take you to the drive-in on Saturday and you can pick the movie?"

She blinks a few times, considering this offer, "Any one I want?"

"Any one you want."

Which surely meant that he would be sitting through a romantic comedy or something equally tantalising.

The corner of her mouth quirks up in a smirk as she trails her hand down his neck, then taps her finger on his chest, "You will buy the food?"

"Absolutely."

Knowing she had him right where she wanted him, she makes one last request, "And you wear that darling shirt with the unicorn on it?"

Danny plays along quite smoothly, "I'll wear a unicorn costume if it would make you happy."

Breathing a slow sigh, she visibly relaxes and tells him softly, "Alright, you have yourself a deal, good sir."

Relieved, Danny bows low in a gesture of gratitude, "Thank you, my lady. Name the day and I will take you to the best outdoor cinema experience of your life."

"I will. Have the unicorn costume on standby, depending on how this first week goes."

Danny gives her two thumbs up and a comical grin which does make her laugh, before she clears her throat, returning to a more serious mode for a moment, "Now, before we go any further, who is this, may I ask?"

She looks up once again at the large beast who proceeds to surface in a shower of fine water spray that sparkles with a rainbow in the evening sun and is currently giving her an inquisitive look.

While imposing in size, this creature looked rather friendly and almost appeared to be smiling at her.

"Oh, this is the Kraken."

She chuckles at what she thought was another hilarious joke, "No, really."

"I'm serious. His name is Kraken and he was supposed to be a spectre of hate and a demon beneath the waves who was going to be our secret weapon in the demon fight, but he ended up being an idiot who falls over, blew the battle for our side and played with the ships rather than destroying them."

Tipping her head to one side after listening to this tragic tale, she says with some measure of confidence, "Oh yes, this will certainly make its way into a song."

Ninja Brian wanders by, examining the shiny scabbard, his pirate hat looking most becoming.

Her fingers find one of his lapels, and she absently plays with it as she whispers, "By the way... just because you're here and you're back... I've really missed you, Danny."

She scuffs her feet shyly, beginning to blush, all her annoyance immediately vanishing now that they were together again.

"I missed you too, babydoll."

Frowning for a moment, she asks him quite quickly, "You're not hurt? You said there was a battle? Did you and Brian do a lot of fighting? Why were the demons there?"

She immediately begins to press her hands to his chest and along his arms, checking for any injuries until he takes her hands and kisses her knuckles, saying in a low voice, "I'm fine, sweetheart."

She is halted mid flow and swallows thickly at the soft look in his eyes and the feeling of his hands clasping hers, "The next time you decide to wage a battle against monsters with another monster on your side and decide to have them stay here, just send me a text or something so I can at least not have to check if my hair is turning grey."

Danny reaches forward and twirls a lock between his fingers, "It looks beautiful and lustrous as always."

"Oh, hush."

"Make me."

"Is that a challenge, sir?"

"Oh, yes."

With a mischievous glint in her eye, she beckons him to lean down and she whispers in his ear after brushing his voluminous curls away.

Within a moment, he is only able to open and close his mouth, making strained noises.

"When I get you alone, okay?"

His entire face lights up and he grabs her in a bear hug, lifting her off her feet and swinging her around.

As he sets her down and she is mid laugh, he has cupped her face and has leaned down to kiss her softly, and she immediately responds, not even caring that they had an audience.

A few feet away, Ninja Brian covers his eyes while at the same time holding up his phone with a thumb pressing the shutter button.

At the same time, there is a sloshing of water against the sides of the tank and a bright, booming voice rings through the back yard, "That is so, so sweet."

Instantly, her eyes open wide as she breaks the kiss, visibly stunned. Danny's eyes are lumimous and warm as always, and he appears nonplussed at the voice that just spoke.

In a daze, she looks first towards Ninja Brian who gives her a confused shake of his head.

Slowly, she looks upwards to see that the Kraken is giving her a very cheery smile, followed by a wave of his massive tentacles, "Hey there, nice lady. Please, don't mind me."

Her voice rises several octaves as she stammers out, "He... he... he can... can /talk/?!"

The Kraken beams at her, tentacles making heart shapes around his head, "Hello, I'm the Kraken, what's your name?"

Swiveling her head between Danny and the Kraken, the entire occasion so overwhelming, her eyes then immediately cross and her entire body keels over in Danny's arms as he swiftly manages to catch her, looking quite flabbergasted.

"Oh, my God, she fainted!"

The Kraken opines quite innocently, "Was it something I said?"

Danny upturns his head towards the Kraken, and says without any compunction, "I think it was the fact of you talking at all. Thanks, Kraken."

The Kraken leans down with a massive tentacle arm and nudges him with a jovial wink, "You're welcome!"

Danny sighs, and in a deadpan voice, "Okay, rain check on bringing the weird animals home..."

Just as he lifts her up into his arms, wanting to bring her to the bedroom for tea and cuddles, Ninja Brian wanders past them with an oversized sledgehammer, sapphire blue eyes trained on the large tank and the cheerful Kraken splashing about with a large rubber duck.

Danny immediately yells, "Brian, no!"

Nonethewiser, the Kraken cheerfully greets the ninja, pointing at the weapon, "Hey, are we going for fun fun surfing times? Splishy splashy!!"

**Three hours later... **

After managing to convince Ninja Brian not to destroy the tank and receiving a whallop to the head himself, Danny awakes in bed with his girl beside him, pressing a cold compress to his brow.

As her face swims into focus, he murmurs about stars and gemstones, before his eyes open fully and sees her gentle smile, "Hello, handsome. Did you have deep and amazing dreams?"

Still feeling quite sleepy and out of it, he says with complete sincerity, "I always do... anytime I'm looking at you."

Her cheeks colour and she lays down on the bed to cuddle up beside him, resting a hand on his chest and tracing patterns on his shirt with her index finger, "Flatterer."

He glances over to the window, and sure enough, he catches sight of the Kraken playing with the bell he had found during the battle.

"So it's okay if Kraken stays?"

In a firm voice that leaves no room for argument, "Yes, Kraken stays. But we are going to treat him like a guest, and make sure he is well fed and his water replenished."

"Yes, ma'am. Sounds like you've warmed up to him."

"Well, after the initial shock of hearing a creature literally larger than myself speaking, he is rather nice. We had some time to talk and he has many tales about living beneath the ocean and being a legendary creature."

Almost on cue, the Kraken begins to ring the bell quite loudly and enthusiastically, which makes Danny wince and cover his ears, still quite sensitive to loud noises.

Crossing the room after getting up from the bed, she opens the window and says firmly but gently, "Kraken, we talked about this. No ringing the bell after 6 in the evening."

Kraken immediately stops and hangs his head, "Sorry."

"It's alright. Do you need anything else before we go to bed?"

"I'm good, and thank you for the fishies for my tum tum."

She smiles fondly, "You're welcome. Goodnight, Kraken."

"Goodnight, nice lady. Don't let the seabugs bite."

Overcome with unexpected affection, she actually blows a kiss which makes him blush and dive into his tank, waving his tentacles at her.

Closing the window and drawing the curtains, she turns back to find Danny laying on his side, propped up on one elbow, having shed his regal garments and is lying beneath the covers wearing an expression she had seen many times before in the beginning of their courtship.

As soon as he crooks his finger and gives her that familiar smoulder, she is entirely unable to resist.

Stepping back to the bed, she starts to undress slowly in front of him, deliberately taking her time and teasing him.

"Did you miss me, my darling?"

Clad in just her underwear, she lifts the covers and joins him, shifting over so she is straddling his hips.

Danny's voice is tight, but still soft as he runs his hands up her thighs and up to her hips, "Of course I did. You're my princess. I missed you so much."

He hugs her close, his mouth finding that tender spot between her neck and shoulder, the light stubble grazing her skin and making liquid warmth pool in her belly.

"Show me... please show me just how much you missed me..." 

He makes a pleased groan close to her ear, "Oh, baby... that could take all night."

Her only response is to kiss him quite softly, twirling her fingers in his hair, murmuring against his lips, "Please... please, Danny..."

"Mmmm... as you wish, my lady."

The last remaining articles of clothing are shed and flung away, the rest of the night spent locked in a passionate embrace with countless kisses exchanged as well as many loud noises and exclamations enacting from the bedroom that Ninja Brian endures with all the ninja master strength he can muster.

The Kraken, meanwhile, sleeps beneath the surface of the water, happy that he had found such nice friends to have happy times with. Maybe tomorrow they would go surfing for real.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I am certainly on a NSP fiction writing spree!
> 
> I can attest it to attending the live show this week, the first of their European tour, and just being so bolstered by the fans in attendance and awed by the performances the entire night.
> 
> Also, because I have a real affection for the 'Release the Kraken' song and the fantastic animated music video. I had the cute and perky Kraken in my head the entire time I was writing him, as well as Brian's exuberance playing him onstage.
> 
> Also, this prompt from Tumblr which just sparked my imagination at the right time as it crossed my dashboard. Definitely follow 'speech prompts' for little gems like this: https://speech-prompts.tumblr.com/post/188412117679/what-did-i-tell-you-about-bringing-weird-animals
> 
> As always, any feedback is always appreciated, and thank you for all the kudos, comments and shares. :) <3<3<3


End file.
